Is it a Dream or is it Real?

I have wondered about work/life balance, just like I think everyone has.  It is something that I work on every day and it is something that I help others work on, too.

Having a balanced life feels like an elusive dream for many of us and every year it is high on the list of things to change.  There is no doubt that our lives are filled with demands pulling at us from many different directions, sometimes with no end in sight.  But small choices can make a big difference in getting your  life back into balance.

Here are some simple choices you can make in your day to help achieve more balance and fulfillment:

• Choose your leisure activities wisely.  You only have a limited number of hours in a day for fun, so spend them on things you really enjoy.
• When someone asks you to do something, don’t just say “yes”, only to regret it later.  First consider how that thing will impact your work-life balance.
• Plan at least one task every day that you know you will complete, and that you know you will feel good about.  Then do it.
• Identify the most stressful things in your life, and make simple changes so they feel less stressful.

You have the power to make these small, simple choices throughout the day for big impact.  Set the intention and consciously move toward creating the ideal balanced life that you desire.  Balance is something that everyone deserves!  Try these small steps and see your life take a turn toward work/life balance.  You are worth it!

My daughter brought this poem home with her from school and it really spoke to me on a lot of levels. I can see many different experiences in my life that this talks to. For me, these are powerful words. I am not sure who wrote it, and if someone knows please let me know so that I can give them credit, a big “THANK YOU”, and then a standing ovation!

I’ve learned…

I’ve learned ~ that you cannot make someone love you.  All you can do is be someone who can be loved.  The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned ~ that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned ~ that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned ~ that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned ~ that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes.  After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned ~ that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned ~ that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned ~ that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned ~ that you should always leave loved one with loving words.  It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned ~ that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned~ that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned ~ that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned ~ that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take it’s place.

I’ve learned ~ that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned ~ that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned ~ that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned ~ that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned ~ that sometime when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned ~ that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.  Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned ~ that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned ~ that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned ~ that you should never tell a child theirs dreams are unlikely or outlandish.  Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned ~ that your family won’t always be there for you.  If may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again.  Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned ~ that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned ~ that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others.  Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned ~ that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned ~ that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned ~ that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.  And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned ~ that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned ~ that you should be so eager to find out a secret.  It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned ~ that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned ~ that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned ~ that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

I’ve learned ~ that even when you think you have no more to give,when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned ~ that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned ~ that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned ~ that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

The Holidays are here! I can’t believe how fast they have come up on me…but I always seem to feel that way right about now. I seem to waffle between loving them and being overwhelmed with them. I am sure that it has something to do with the situation and/or “hat” – my “wife, mom, coach, teacher, domestic goddess, taxi driver, accountant, organizer” hat – I am wearing at the particular moment that I feel the love or the stress. I think that as a caregiver, it is pretty normal to experience it all, even when it seems magnified during the Holidays.

So, I’ve been thinking about ways that I can consciously live each day during the Holidays and beyond, fully engaged and doing what I want to be doing without fear of being overwhelmed and possible burnout. One of the first things that comes to mind is to find an activity that I can do for myself that pampers me or engages me.  Some things that come to mind, without letting myself pass judgement or even start with excuses about why they won’t work are: reading fiction, doing something with yarn, walking, working on my stack of family photos.

Have you thought about what you could do to create some “you” time in your life? The benefits of creating that space for youself are:

• helping you find balance in your life
• doing something that you love, for yourself
• being able to take your ‘caregiver’ hat off and rest
• having that time to just “be”
• recharging your energy and focus
• helping to maintain a positive mental attitude

In the midst of this Holiday season, I hope that you will find some time to start thinking about some ways that you can carve out some “you” time.   I am looking forward to finding my yarn and getting started on a project!

I can’t believe that the Holidays are just around the corner!  This year has been an amazing year for me both professionally and personally.  As I look back over the year, I realize that my balance was a bit off  ~ I did much more professional development and business work then I did for my personal life.  Now, that I have said it out loud, I can also say that I am feeling the lopsidedness.  I am thrilled with what I have accomplished, don’t get me wrong, but I also want to take a step back and really focus on getting myself back into balance.  Work-life balance – it sure sounds good and what does it mean….better yet, how do you get some?

As I see it, work-life balance is the dynamic interaction between “work” and “life”. “Work” is those tasks you must do to keep your life functioning ~ paid or unpaid, inside or outside the home.   And “life” is those things you do for your own personal fulfillment ~ the things we really enjoy and want to do. “Balance” is the ideal blend of those two areas.  Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?

So, getting myself into some work-life balance is at the top of my to-do list for the upcoming months.  I love being a caregiver; it is a big part of who I am.  I also know that being in balance will help me continue doing what I am a passionate about.  What about you?  Are you ready to find some balance in your life?

Here are some ways to begin to work on balance:

*Become aware of how you are spending your time. Notice where you are satisfied, where you may be unbalanced, and what you would like to change.

*Create your vision of a balanced day. How do you desire your ideal day to look while enjoying the perfect combination of “work” and “life”?

*Identify the obstacles that interfere with your quest for balance such as your own thoughts, words, and actions.  Also look at other obstacles such as people’s opinions, schedules, and actions.

*And finally, put it all into “action”.  Awareness, desire, and identifying your obstacles are important, but to move toward balance, you need to take action.  Make choices that move you toward balance and watch your life bloom.  Work-life balance is not a destination.  It is a dynamic state of awareness and choices.  I hope that these simple tips to help move you toward the life you desire!